that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
