you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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