we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize