She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
