so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I cut my penus on the lid.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
please don't ironically join a cult
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