Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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