Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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