Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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