I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
