How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
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Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.