Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos