Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?

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  (651): Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women? http://tfl.nu/yufj
  Replies (23) Good night (2379) Bad night (1204)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck

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  (401): you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck http://tfl.nu/4wd4
  Replies (28) Good night (5926) Bad night (1051)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day

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  (508): I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day http://tfl.nu/qyf0
  Replies (30) Good night (3913) Bad night (1063)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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  (832): it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right? http://tfl.nu/a8lp
  Replies (25) Good night (3807) Bad night (716)
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  (310): View more from California

  I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer

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  (310): I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer http://tfl.nu/kzvv
  Replies (8) Good night (4515) Bad night (722)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.

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  (832): I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover. http://tfl.nu/1njk
  Replies (14) Good night (3117) Bad night (1188)
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  (914): View more from New York

  After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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  (914): After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories... http://tfl.nu/40wb
  Replies (13) Good night (3366) Bad night (1262)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.

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  (630): I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit. http://tfl.nu/afy7
  Replies (14) Good night (7109) Bad night (1382)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.

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  (403): Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes. http://tfl.nu/co11
  Replies (12) Good night (3454) Bad night (1044)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.

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  (630): Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren. http://tfl.nu/fimu
  Replies (12) Good night (2054) Bad night (1625)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?

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  (918): It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar? http://tfl.nu/u4v8
  Replies (5) Good night (713) Bad night (1416)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.

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  (570): We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves. http://tfl.nu/ccdq
  Replies (2) Good night (802) Bad night (438)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.

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  (480): It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood. http://tfl.nu/ktz5
  Replies (4) Good night (1965) Bad night (610)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.

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  (206): I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too. http://tfl.nu/htiy
  Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (354)
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  (909): View more from California

  Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man

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  (909): Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man http://tfl.nu/x5ba
  Replies (3) Good night (482) Bad night (213)

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