"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
