THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.