what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
