Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

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(901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb

Replies (63) Good night (2773) Bad night (3515)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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(781): i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too http://tfl.nu/262s

Replies (17) Good night (3392) Bad night (641)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Hey kate, how is it?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.

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(267): Hey kate, how is it? (610): sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving. http://tfl.nu/94qm

Replies (14) Good night (789) Bad night (2977)
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(281): View more from Texas

Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.

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(281): Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table. http://tfl.nu/g0qe

Replies (10) Good night (3701) Bad night (680)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.

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(413): Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot. http://tfl.nu/sr3w

Replies (19) Good night (9568) Bad night (1358)
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(801): View more from Utah

so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me

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(801): so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me http://tfl.nu/is24

Replies (81) Good night (8682) Bad night (1069)
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(914): View more from New York

Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him

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(914): Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him http://tfl.nu/h9ln

Replies (23) Good night (6162) Bad night (1721)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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(724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4

Replies (13) Good night (3277) Bad night (1290)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.

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(401): Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one. http://tfl.nu/yysi

Replies (4) Good night (4228) Bad night (677)
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(415): View more from California

just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.

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(415): just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid. http://tfl.nu/grub

Replies (9) Good night (2717) Bad night (628)
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(419): View more from Ohio

By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.

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(419): By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame. http://tfl.nu/xvaq

Replies (10) Good night (1031) Bad night (471)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.

(1-506): View more from New Brunswick

Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.

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(505): She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once. (1-506): Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring. http://tfl.nu/s5ra

Replies (7) Good night (2154) Bad night (420)
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(214): View more from Texas

True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

(972): View more from Texas

Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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(214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5

Replies (5) Good night (1156) Bad night (444)
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(936): View more from Texas

Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.

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(936): Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/74hm

Replies (4) Good night (679) Bad night (305)
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(801): View more from Utah

My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.

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(801): My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use. http://tfl.nu/q2pv

Replies (0) Good night (504) Bad night (274)

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