dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
