he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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