woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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