Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
