that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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