Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize