idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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