I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
