I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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