I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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