Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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