I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
