Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
