I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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