we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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