Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
