i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
