my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
