hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
