I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize