ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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