Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
