So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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