hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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