its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
