Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I wear drunk well.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
