i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
