please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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