Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
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