He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.