the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
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apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
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I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars