Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids