Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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