? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have fence marks all over my body
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
