wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
there is puke in my bra ... again
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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