Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
