The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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