I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
