I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
