google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
