Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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