some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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