I love black thongs
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
