alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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