So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
