i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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