It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
