I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
