I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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