Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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