I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wish I only lived at night.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
