so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
